Witness to Grief: Stories Matter

Every so often, life gives you moments that change you forever.

Moments where grief is so heavy in the air that you can feel it settle onto your own shoulders — not as a burden, but as an invitation to walk alongside someone.

These moments are what drive me to build a stronger grief support network across Alberta.

A Heart With Ears

Recently, someone I’ve known for years went through a traumatic grief experience.

She and her family spent months caring for a loved one whose health had taken a turn for the worse, often fighting the healthcare system just to secure the most basic care.

I watched her heart grow heavier and heavier — not only from the loss itself, but from the exhausting battle she went through just to preserve her loved one's dignity and wellbeing in their final days.

I saw the toll it took: physically, mentally, emotionally. The heaviness was everywhere.

And in all that time, all I could offer her was what my Grief Recovery Trainer, Sandi Derby, taught me to be: A heart with ears, eyes, but no mouth.

I became a safe witness. I listened to her story without trying to fix it. I stayed silent when she needed silence, and supportive when she reached out.

She was no stranger to grief, having experienced a traumatic loss in her past, but when she realized she had the ability to take control of her experiences and tackle the emotional pain she has been holding, I saw a light in her: it was hope.

She signed up for the 8-week Grief Recovery Program, the same program I've been through and am now trained to take others through. This felt like such an amazing win, because I know the difference the program can make in freeing people from the deep emotional pain grief can cause. I know firsthand the difference the right tools can make when someone is ready to take them.

Witnessing Unimaginable Resilience

I met with another woman to hear her grief story a few weeks ago and she told me about an impossible hardship she had been through in struggling with trying to conceive, and the numerous losses she experienced in that decade-long journey before losing the child she was finally able to hold.

My heart was crushed in waves as she told her story of loss after loss after loss. I was blown away at how she was sitting in front of me: whole, living, and willing to continue on.

When I found out she had gone through this last major loss only a few months before we sat down to talk, I was completely floored.

I was looking at one of the most resilient and inspiring people I had ever met in my life.

What amazed me even more, was that she offered to share her story in the hopes that someone else would hear it and that it would help them. She had gone through so much and still somehow had the willpower to turn it into a way she could help others, only weeks after experiencing such heartbreak.

Here was one of the most resilient human beings I have ever met, offering her pain as a gift to others mere weeks after her greatest heartbreak. There are no words for that kind of courage. Only deep, abiding respect.

Grief Support Shouldn’t Be a Secret

For these women, I did nothing but provide a safe space, become an attentive listener, a witness to their journeys, and introduce them to what grief recovery is.

I am honoured to have witnessed their stories, the paths that led them to today, and to have been trusted with to hear their truths.

I learned that even after looking for resources, they had never stumbled across the Grief Recovery Method. Even among those desperately searching for support, real help often remains hidden, fragmented, or inaccessible.

Grief support shouldn’t be a secret. It should be well-known, affordable, and available in every community — rural or urban, big or small.

When someone is brave enough to say "I need help," the help should be there. Without having to fight for it. Without wondering if they can afford it. Without feeling like their pain has to meet some invisible threshold to be "valid."

I Am Not Here to Save You

It's not up to me to decide they or anyone else needs help or that they need to heal.

I can see the pain that affects others. I can share in that pain with them (as I often do, heavily empathetic as I am), but it's not my pain to address.

What I can do, and what I have committed to doing, is to ensure that they know their options and that money isn't a boundary for them to access these options.

Your journey is your own, but I won't go a single day without saying to someone in pain: "Hey, I'm here with you. If you need help, lean on me."

The Alberta I Dream Of

One day, I want to see an Alberta where grief support is second nature. Where neighbors, friends, and strangers alike can say without fear: "I'm here with you. And if you need it, I know how to help."

We are not there yet. But every conversation, every resource built, every dollar donated brings us closer.

Healing doesn’t happen in silence. Healing happens in connection. Heart to heart. Person to person.

Grief is not just an individual burden; it is a social experience. It should be met with community, not isolation.

You Are Not Alone

To anyone reading this: I’m not afraid of your pain. I’m not afraid of your emotions. You don’t scare me.

I know these feelings well; I am an "old pro" at harbouring intense emotional pain — and at finding ways to carry it without letting it bury me.

If you want help, I am here. If you want someone simply to bear witness, I am here. If you just want to know that someone sees you, feels you, and respects your journey — I am here.

You are not alone. Not now. Not ever.

How You Can Help

If this message resonates with you, and you want to be part of building a future where grief support is accessible to everyone in Alberta, I invite you to join us.

Make a donation — every dollar helps fund grief recovery programs, public education campaigns, and scholarships for grief support training in Alberta communities.

Reach out — whether you're grieving yourself and want to share your story, want to volunteer, have questions, or simply want to learn more, I would love to hear from you.

Together, we can change how our we care for those who are hurting.

Donate

Together, we will build something beautiful — heart by heart, story by story, life by life.

Yours,

Jes Knoop

Founder