Why Grief Care Matters - And Why Healing Is a Social Responsibility

People experience grief in countless ways — and not all of them are obvious.

While most people associate grief with death, it’s far from the only loss that affects our lives. In fact, researchers have identified over 40 types of life changes that can trigger grief. These include divorce or separation, infertility, financial hardship, illness or injury, and even positive changes like marriage or retirement.

Loss is not just about the people we love — it's also about the life we expected, the identity we’ve built, and the sense of safety or stability we once had.

For example, women who struggle with fertility may grieve month after month — quietly mourning a dream they still hold in their hearts. Someone facing bankruptcy or job loss might be grieving the lifestyle and identity they’ve had to give up. Survivors of abuse or violence carry the grief of stolen safety, trust, and innocence.

Grief is deeply personal — but it’s also deeply universal.

Every one of us will experience grief in our lifetime. But in Alberta, we don’t talk about it. We don’t teach people how to hold space for it. We don’t equip families, workplaces, or schools to respond to it.

Instead, we avoid it.

And in that silence, people suffer.

Grief Is Not Meant to Be Done in Isolation

It’s not something that should be hidden, apologized for, or rushed. Grief is a deeply human experience — and by its very nature, it’s social.

We grieve because we love. We grieve because something mattered to us. And that emotional pain is not a sign of weakness — it’s a reflection of what it means to be human.

Healing, then, should be human, too.

We’re not meant to navigate loss alone in our bedrooms, holding ourselves together until we can “get over it.” We’re meant to heal together — person to person, heart to heart.

The Best Fix for Social Issues Is Change at a Social Level

We can’t legislate grief away. We can’t rely on a handful of overburdened professionals to fix the emotional health of a grieving province. Real change has to happen within our communities. Within our families. Within us.

When we normalize open conversations about grief — when we make it safe to express pain, confusion, or sorrow — we start building a culture of emotional safety. We help people find their way back to themselves. And that kind of social shift? It starts one person at a time.

• When a friend knows how to sit quietly with someone who’s hurting — we’re changing the world.

• When a teacher recognizes that a child’s outburst might be grief — we’re making a difference.

• When a co-worker acknowledges a loss instead of ignoring it — we’re healing something.

This is the heart of what the Lean on Me Network Association exists for.

I believe that grief care is a human right — not a luxury, not an afterthought. And I believe that everyone, not just professionals, can become part of the solution. That's why I want to see community members trained to help their communities - grief specialists serve as the roots of a change that grows out across the entire community. If we can place even a handful of specialists into each community, their knowledge and example will serve as a source of learning for the members of that community, empowering everyone from the inside out.

So What Can You Do?

We’re not all trained grief counsellors. But the good news is: we don’t need to be.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned through my grief specialist certification is that the biggest shifts come from the smallest, most human actions.

You don’t need a degree to show up for someone in pain. You just need:

• A bit of knowledge

• A willingness to listen

• The restraint not to try and "fix" it

• And the courage to say:

“Your pain doesn’t scare me. I’m with you in this.”

Interested in Offering More? Take the step to get certified.

Becoming a certified grief recovery specialist isn’t an impossible challenge — in fact, the training only takes a few days and a bit of heart. If you’re curious about it, or about the Lean on Me Initiative, I want to hear from you.

Remember: I’m a licensed funeral director, embalmer, and certified grief recovery specialist. I’ve been studying grief and loss for nearly a decade, since my studies at the University of Lethbridge. Nothing you say will shock me. No question will make me uncomfortable.

If you have questions — ask.

There’s nothing I love more than sharing knowledge, supporting others, and empowering people to be part of this much-needed cultural shift.

Together, we can change how Alberta sees grief — and more importantly, how we respond to it.

Contact me directly at www.lomna.ca/contact or at support@lomna.ca

Yours,

Jes Knoop Founder